Hurdles by Nikki

In Mary Kay we always hear the importance of making the decision to do something, anything, whether it be placing an inventory order or becoming a director. We hear how fabulous it is that we’ve made the decision to move forward and to step out on faith. But what happens when we’ve made the decision to quit? There are so many choices for us to make and some of us aren’t sure which one is the right one and that’s when we realize, we have to clear the hurdle.

In middle school I was forced to participate in a horrible exercise known as Physical Education. One of the cruel activities devised by my teacher was a track and field unit. I would like to state for the record that I am 5’4”. This is important to know because I’m going to tell you that my teacher made me jump hurdles. Imagine if you will, a clumsy girl chugging full speed down the track, launching her 5’4” self into the air over the wobbling tube that had been formed into a hurdle. Several times I tried and each time this horrific thing would happen, the hurdle would reach up, grab my toe, heel or ankle and send me to the ground with a resounding thud to be followed with a miserable groan on my part. I debated with the teacher more than once that I did not see the benefit of hurdles to my future. Apparently, this teacher knew better than I and would just smile every time.

When I started Mary Kay in 2002 I had the usual dreams of director, free cars and financial freedom. What followed was frustration, financial funneling and did I mention frustration? During that go round, yes there was more than one, I faded away. I died the “Mary Kay Death”. That’s where the consultant who once had pink stars in her eyes just fades away. Fade away is just what I did; I went past the 6-month mark of inactivity and into the dreaded land of T status. The importance of Round 1 was I didn’t have to make a decision. In truth, I didn’t even know I had gone inactive or had been terminated. Had someone told me, I might have placed an unnecessary order but again, was never given an opportunity. I did have a small amount of inventory, approximately $1400 retail but it was mostly product that I knew I could use or that a customer specifically asked for. That being said, it wasn’t terribly traumatic for me when I was no longer a consultant.

Fast forward to June of 2004 and I was living a very different life. I was now the mother of an 11-month old and felt tied to my family and home. I didn’t participate in any activities that weren’t family, baby or church related. In other words, I didn’t get out much. I received a call from my friend and she was so very excited because she had just made the decision to take her Mary Kay business seriously. She was going to be attending an MKU workshop and wanted me to come along. I told her that sounded interesting but I was no longer a consultant but she knew that. She also knew that I could do a $20 re-sign and would be back in business right away. I told her I would have to think about it and would talk with my husband. My husband’s first concern was the $1400 worth of product that hadn’t budged. I assured him I wouldn’t be purchasing inventory again and that I was doing this as a hobby.

I attended the MKU workshop and immediately I was out warm chatting. Names and numbers were no problem for me. The problem was getting anything out of it. The stars quickly formed in my eyes again and I was determined that I was going to be a director. It was after I had recovered from a surgery that fall that I realized I was at a point in my “career” that I could not take a break. If I did, the momentum I was working to build would be lost. I found myself faced with starting over for the 3rd time. I pressed onward and attended a winter retreat hosted by my national. My friend was bit by the pink bug on this trip, she was determined that she was going to be a director before Seminar. I made the same decision.

I focused solely on team building for the next month and at the end of January, I had one new team member and my friend entered DIQ. I continued in my efforts of team building. I met new women every month, interviewed and held appointments. My results were less than favorable because I strayed from the basics. I was seeing my friend rocket through DIQ with little to no effort and started feeling frustrated. I had heard many times how you should look to those who are where you want to be when you find yourself troubled, so I did. I emulated my friend to the best of my abilities but it wasn’t until my husband muttered the words “She’s buying her directorship” that I started to question her results. At first, I defended my friend but when I took the time to objectively compare what each of us was doing to move forward, I saw it too. As one “non-Mk” friend put it, “it must be nice to have a large family, multiple credit cards and equity lines”.

In May, my friend was officially my director. I was genuinely happy for her in seeing her dreams realized and began to do exactly what she said because she had done something I hadn’t. My inventory decision was questioned. This question coincided with the refinancing of my home and unfortunately I placed a couple of orders that were above and beyond suitable for my customer base and sales activity. At times, I had 6 or more of various skincare supplements and at least 12 or more of the skincare line in each formula. I was seriously over loaded on inventory.

I attended Seminar, my fall retreats and swore that I would not order unless my sales permitted it. Our national area encouraged working “inner circle”, focusing on sales, interviews, appointments and a wholesale order based on your sales. If you had not accomplished one of the four on the 2, 3, or 5 levels consistently and for 2 out of 3 months each quarter, it was considered incomplete. “Inner Circle” was something that I followed and while I would complete the interviews and appointments, I had never in my 9 months of paid participation reached my sales goals. Once I had made that promise that I was no longer going to order without supporting sales, I could truly see the results of my efforts. It was then that I realized my goal of being a four-quarter star for the year was in jeopardy. This was difficult for me and I am ashamed to admit that I attempted to raise credit lines and acquired new credit to place yet another order that I did not need. In my heart, I knew what I was doing was wrong. I knew in my brain and gut that it was wrong. But, there was a part of me that was enveloped in the pink bubble and that part wanted the recognition at Seminar 2006 and I was willing to break a promise to my husband and myself to achieve that dream. It was by the grace of the Lord above that I fell “victim” to the logic of the credit card companies. They would not raise the limit on my current card but were more than willing to issue me a new card in the requested amount. I suppose their logic made as much sense as my own. Thankfully, that card did not make it time for me to make that $1800 purchase. In the 3 months that I had worked hard, chugging down that track, I never cleared a hurdle. Again, I had plenty of appointments, calls and efforts, but no sales and it wasn’t the first time. When my director found out that my card came in on December 16th and had a limit of $2,000 her exact words to me were “Oh, had we known, I could have put an order in on one of my cards and you could have paid me back”. When she said that my eyebrows nearly touched the back of my head they raised so high. To place an order for a consultant without the funds certainly went against the company guidelines and my director knew that I didn’t have the sales to support that order. Why she would encourage me to go further in unnecessary debt was just the start of my questioning this “wonderful opportunity”.

I attended my last winter retreat at the beginning of this year. This event struck me in quite a different fashion than all others. Now that I was questioning everything it all seemed transparent. I wanted to know everything, down to the smallest details of who is watching that women’s newborn daughter if her husband is in the service and she’s here. I heard the cries of “do this for yourself, not your director or national” as a cry of “why are you doing this”. That’s when I decided to figure out why I was doing this and was really disappointed to find that I didn’t have an answer. I came home from that trip confused. Here I was telling everyone that I was going to have to start over for the 4th time if I wanted to continue. “If” became a strong word in my MK vocabulary and we all know that “if” is not encouraged. When I arrived home, I was online looking for help because I certainly hadn’t found it when I was paying $3 a week to practice my seminar wave. On a whim, I was looking for a picture of the national suit and instead found Mary Kay Law Suit. I had heard the rumors but could it really be? A lawsuit, against Mary Kay, you could certainly color me confused.

When I found that link, I read it and the next and the next and the next. I spent hours scouring the Internet, a plethora of emotion as I found the manipulation I had been experiencing in PRINT! It was then that the pink clouds lifted and I was left going “hey, it’s not me”.

It was through The Pinking Shears that I found that the repurchase clause in the consultant agreement was a rolling 12-months. My entire time in Mary Kay it had been worded just so to appear as though it was your first 12-months in the business. This was something new to consider. I had purchased $9,000 plus in product during 2005 and I could get that money back. There was just one more hurdle to cross and that was the decision to quit.

Whenever the word quit comes up in Mary Kay, it’s usually paired with failure. Well, I certainly didn’t want to be considered a failure. I struggled with the decision of calling the repurchase department. I talked online to the women of MKSurvivors, PinkBeeGone and other support sites and finally realized that I was putting too much of my heart into the decision and not enough of my brain.

I started feeling like I was back in high school. I was chugging down that track but unable to cross that hurdle. I felt like I was once again lying on my back groaning in agony and defeat because something that appeared so simple had proven to be so difficult. I could feel the eyes of my peers gawking at me, wondering what my problem was because everybody else had managed to do it. What was my excuse? Simply put, I didn’t have one. There was no excuse. Mary Kay wasn’t making me happy, was providing no benefit to my family or my general wellness. My husband and I completed our taxes and included my less than stellar results of Mary Kay. Oh, wow, what a loss, right there in black and white and VERY red! But it was at that point when I started looking at numbers and the cost of my effort compared to the results that I realized it was not worth it to continue.

I won’t lie to you and say that I made my decision in a snap. I know that there are many women out there who can; I’m just not one of them. I was stuck in my decision for a couple of months. I finally called the repurchase department in May after I talked with my director. I most certainly didn’t tell her my plans but I did let her know that I thought it was pointless of me to place an order just because I was going to lose a recruit. I was only making 4% off this recruit and had just made over $200 on her. Now I was expected to send that $200 back to the company? I didn’t think that was a good idea. It was the first time in my MK career that I had stood up to my director. Let’s just say it didn’t go over well and the next time I did it was even worse. Of course, I was told that as long as I wasn’t quitting that I would be ok and that I shouldn’t feel like I wasn’t an important person and that maybe I just needed to go to my meetings again. Well, in my defense, I’ve never questioned my importance to this world and it certainly wouldn’t be affected by whether or not I went to the meetings. When I made my call, I was amazed to learn that I was eligible to return over $10,000 retail. The next day, my mother made her phone call and we scrambled to return her $200 by the 31st.

I continued to agonize over my decision. Should I, shouldn’t I, over and over. I again had to take a step back and think with a business mind that is a far cry from the Mary Kay mind. I knew that I would be losing 10% on my investment. That was going to be a good chunk of change. I also knew that I would lose any commission I had earned but technically that’s a wash. They gave me the money and I was going to give it back. The beloved star prizes I had “earned”, well I bought the product to earn them and it’s my understanding that I will possibly be paying the company back for those too. I also knew that the “free” product I had earned, well, I was going to be paying for that too. So, when all was said and done, I had to compare the costs of continuing to do business to the cost of closing my business. To my surprise, the cost to close was much cheaper than the cost to continue.

It was on the 15th of June that we paid $215 to ship 4 boxes with a retail value of over $8,000 to the repurchase department of Mary Kay in Texas. With that decision came peace of mind and the knowledge that I had finally managed to clear that one last hurdle in my business. I also realize that I owe my PE teacher quite an apology, apparently he really did have my best interests in mind.